THE MAP
Do not adjust your eyeballs for this my friends is the glorious map of travels. At first glance The Map is chaos. You would be forgiven for thinking you were having a seizure just by looking at it. Just a few short years in the making but it has become somewhat of a ritual in our travels at home and abroad. It started off as a way of marking places we wanted to visit here in Iceland. The Hobbit was the one who initially started the map but then I got hold of it and turned it obsessive. As well as the OG desired destinations it now charts roads traversed, accommodations sampled and in rare cases the highest honour of being marked as a “favourite”.
It's slowly but surely crept out of Iceland into the world at large but for now let's stick to Iceland. Over the last 9 years we've crawled all over this joyful little island we call home and there's still so much more to see. This map is a glimpse into my soul, my joy of the road trip, all in service of my overarching passion for landscape photography. Perhaps separating out the chaos will ease your eyes a bit and I can tell you a little bit about each layer making up this beautiful monster we've grown.
Starting with the most straightforward we have the “want to go” layer. These blobs range from roads not yet traveled to restaurants to sample etc. Basically it could be anything, if I want it, it's on there. Some are more simple to achieve than others. As you can see, my work here is far from done. It's A little bit like death´s list, you cross off one name and another 3 get added to the bottom. It will never end. I hope.
Here we have the completed blobs. Not too shabby I think you'll agree. Decidedly empty in the middle you might be thinking but honestly it's hostile territory. Not so much angry locals chasing you off with pitchforks but more like terrain that's trying to murder you, glaciers, volcanoes, raging rivers etc. “The middle” is a fun place to visit from the edges of it i´ve managed to tickle but for the most part it´s left unconquered for me. This is in part due to the fact that it's only officially open for 3 or 4 months of the year due to adverse weather. But mostly it's about having the right vehicle to attempt it no matter what the time of year. While our beloved Ged has an abundance of strong Icelandic traversing qualities to get places others can't, climbing mountains and swimming across many a small river notwithstanding, he unfortunately does not have the steroid induced features required to successfully fully conquer the middle.
I've occasionally been given questioning looks in Ged when we've been in harder to reach places due to him not being a beefcake. We did take him to the baby steroid gym a few years ago and got him a little higher off the ground to help with his adventures but we couldn't go full hulk with him. He's A Subaru and 4x4 but not a jeep as such and people are a bit Gedist if i'm honest. Fuck em.
In any case, the map is coming along nicely in terms of the finished.
Less seizure inducing is the accommodation tab which stands at a little over 50 stays in Iceland! I can hardly believe it. We've stayed in an assortment of places ranging from humble but comfortable up to lah de dah and only one stands out as terrible enough to get a bad review (since closed down thankfully, not due to my bad review but more likely because it was fucking shit). Everywhere else we've stayed has been lovely.
The consequence of so many stays has made us somewhat experts in our own minds at this. We have a now unspoken system for hotel breakfasts that to outsiders probably makes us look like pod people. We silently enter the hall, choose our table and immediately disperse to opposite ends of the serving areas. I'm on coffee duty and go straight to the black liquid of joy, while the Hobbit surveys the layers of breakfast and fetches the juice. Both are deposited at the table before revisiting the food for the first round.
A footnote to this part is I hold a rare and special power. Its the power to always, and I mean always, empty the coffee brew pot. The filter pots everyone uses here give a satisfactory gurgle when you’ve relieved it of all it’s juices thus signalling to the whole room (except the to the person who is to refill it naturally) that you have only the dregs in your cup. It’s become a running joke that i’m cursed. The gurgle goes off and I turn around knowing that i’m being watched by the hobbit who gives a knowing smirk. We look crazy but it’s part of the routine now. This is an additional titbit added some weeks after initial posting as I was reminded once more that the curse was alive and well for having the choice of two pots I chose the one that gave a loud satisfied gurgle as I got the remnants of its contents in my cup. It is what it is.
Back to the hotel morning routine now. I'm shit at breakfast, I only have one round and it's usually cereal unless there´s bacon in which case i'm taking all of it. The Hobbit has 2 to 3 runs at it. It starts with pastries and works up from there. There's usually coffee refills in between as well and then off back up to the room to lie down for 10 to 20 minutes before leaving for the day. It doesn't end there, we have a scoring system for hotel breakfasts out of five (five being top tier).
Basic bitch breakfast, so basic in fact if you paid full price for this you'd be pissed off! It's less than a continental while trying to pass itself off as one. Usually one type of bread and some flaccid ham and tasteless slices of cheese. Sometimes comes with cucumber of all things. Don't trust anyone who serves a 1, especially don't trust cucumber fanned out on an old chipped plate. No breakfast is better than a 1 breakfast.
Basic bitch with frills. Should be the standard but seeing as we've come across less than this it's bumped up to number 2. It´s a “real” continental with breads (plural), basic cold meats, cereals, milks of different origin (animal or mineral) and even yogurts. A fine start to the day if still a little basic. Put it this way i´m not mad at it if it's what i´ve been given.
Next step up above the last enjoys the addition of pastries and fruits. A firm favourite of the Hobbit and guaranteed to satisfy his double breakfast needs. Also benefits from a wider variety in general of the standard items i.e. advanced meat options like salami or some sort of disgusting fish. FYI i´ve never seen anyone touch the fish, it's usually gurgetating in a sad bowl at the edge of the table, ready to go straight back to the sea whence it came via the kitchen sink.
We're getting to the good stuff now and hopes are always high for a 4, not as common in Iceland as you'd hope either. This be the introduction of hot elements. It could be waffles or bacon, if you're lucky it's both. Sometimes on rare occasions we get a sausage. Beans are an anomaly here, we can get them but it's a gamble whether they've been heated first or just unceremoniously chucked straight from the tin cold into the serving station receptacle. You never know what you're going to get in this regard. Basically a number 4 is the introduction of a bain marie.
The ultimate breakfast and rarer than rocking horse shit. This is all of the above plus a choose your own eggs option, a choose your own eggventure if you will. I don't recall this option in Iceland yet. Does not include if there is premade scrambled egg in a bain marie (still just a strong 4 i´m afraid). There have to be multiple egg choices. Hey don't look at me I don't make the rules, the Hobbit does, I just live in his breakfast world.
Finally we have the favourites which are a rare high honour and as you can see we don't have many who have made it so far. I'm not a travel guide and I never will be but I'd be remiss if I didn´t mention them by name and a link, they deserve it in my eyes.
I know all my favourites so far are south centric but that should make the other corners want to fight, join them, come and have a go if you think you´re hard enough! I´ll go in order from left to right so it´s not in order of priority, no competition here, they´re all top tier.
The first blob over Reykjavík doesn't count because it's our house. If your home isn't worthy of a favourite blob then you need to get a new home. A bit of a lie because our last house had the same blob and we hated it there but I really mean it this time honest.
First blob proper is Mia´s Country Van at Skógafoss. A brightly coloured van by the side of my favourite waterfall in Iceland and they sell THE best fish and chips in Iceland. I know this because i´m British, we know fish and chips, it´s something installed at birth. But mostly because I've tried enough places now to call it. Chippy culture is something you don´t know you miss when moving away from the UK until it happens and you're left in a floating rock in the arctic who gets the freshest fish but can´t batter it to save their lives. Don´t even get me started on the chips, they´re not chips, they´re fries! Anyway Mia has learned the secret of the batter because it's heavenly. Not served with chips but comes with the crispiest wedges instead. Absolute lip smacking goodness. LINK LINK
We hit our next two favourites at Vík. The first of which is a cute little black hut at the side of the road as you drive into town. Selling nothing but fresh crepes made while you watch and salivate. Vík is a now thriving town with a higher than average influx of foreign incomers than many countryside towns and this place is one of the payoffs. The community spirit is rife in Vík, it's a safe space for foreigners to come and thrive and I'm here for it all the way. None more so than next on the list but in the meantime here's the LINK LINK to the crepes.
My fellow British and someone I now call a friend in Iceland whether she likes it or not is our favourite and bestest yellow school bus of joy Skool Beans. Holly has worked her arse off to get this place up and off the ground and it is soaring to new heights year on year. With the help from her grumpy assistant of course, Jeffrey the three legged cat, Holly converted this old bus into a haven nestled next to the golf course in Vík. Extra shout out to the amazing staff there, some of whom return season after season ready to serve the flux of tourists and locals alike hoping to catch a glimpse of Jeffrey and sample the delights of the happiest bus in Iceland. Long may she reign! LINK LINK
Last but not least we have our latest edition to the favourite crew. We travelled south east for my birthday last year and stumbled across Pakkhús Restaurant in Höfn. The menu felt carefully curated and took us by surprise which is not as common as you'd hope in Iceland. Yes the food is usually always lovely, i´m not saying anything bad about it but you tend to get the same choices in a roundabout way but not in Pakkhús on this visit. I´m looking forward to a revisit and seeing if it lives up to the memories. LINK LINK
There you have it, The Map in all her glory and chaos. I live in fear that the feature will be updated or discontinued and lose it all but I suppose then i´ll just have to start all over again rediscovering Iceland and the world at large.